A probe every five minutes, latency history, an alert before the certificate expires, and a public status page to share.
composer require quiet-guard/laravel-monitor
An application that is down raises no exception: a server that stopped answering has nobody left to report the error. And a certificate that expires on a Sunday morning locks everyone out at the same moment, with no warning.
Status under 400, latency recorded, with the same anti-SSRF guards as the webhooks: an internal address is never probed.
You hear when it goes down and when it comes back. Never every five minutes in between.
At fourteen days and again at three, once each. A renewal resets the cycle on its own.